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A UMNS Feature
By Barbara Dunlap-Berg*
3:00 P.M. ET March 30, 2012
Pew sitter Barbara Dunlap-Berg finds lessons in a well-known children’s story.
A UMNS photo by Kathleen Barry.
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“Somebody has been sitting in my chair, and has sat the bottom through!” said the Little Wee Bear in his little wee voice.
It seems some churchgoers — United Methodists not excluded — are as
possessive of their “family pew” as the unfortunate baby bear in the
fairy tale. They arrive for Sunday worship only to discover “someone is
sitting in their pew.”
Alas! Crisis! What to do?
Have you ever been asked to move because you sat in someone’s family pew?
We posed that question on the United Methodist News Service Facebook page and received some interesting responses.
Three came from clergy families.
Priceless expression on her face
“On the first Sunday of my first full-time appointment,” wrote the
Rev. Judy Powell Sibley, “my husband was asked to move by the wife of
the administrative council chair. When I introduced him to the
congregation, the expression on her face was priceless!” Today Sibley
is retired from the Mississippi Annual (regional) Conference.
Joyce Carrasco’s spouse is the Rev. Oscar Carrasco, Elgin District
superintendent in the Northern Illinois Conference. She recalled a
Sunday years ago when she and her daughter “sat down cautiously in a
center pew” on her husband’s first week at a new appointment.
“In audible voices from behind us came, ‘She doesn’t know that they
are sitting in the pew that belongs to so-and-so family. She’ll find
out soon enough and not sit there again.’ And we didn’t. We moved to
the back pew and enjoyed that spot for six years.” Today Carrasco is a
member of Epworth United Methodist Church, Elgin, Ill.
“Before I was appointed,” said the Rev. Douglas L. Amis, “my wife
and I would intentionally take someone else’s seats to push the comfort
zone (and cause) them to move.” Eventually, because so many
worshippers were not in their usual places, “the pastor commented that
it was hard to tell who wasn’t there!” Today Amis serves Miller United
Methodist Church, Des Moines, Iowa.
A lasting impression
Being asked to move can make a lasting impression,
according to Brenda Mayberry of Manhattan, Kan. When she was a child
visiting a church with her parents, someone asked them to vacate a pew.
“My mom glared back at them,” she said. Her dad retorted that when
the usual occupants of the pew arrived, they could ask them to move,
but until then, they were staying. “The family did come and just sat
beside us. Mom said we kids played in the pews just fine.”
Ruie Whitecotton, Romulus, Mich., remembers attending a new church
when her husband was stationed in Charleston, S.C. “The first day, we
had to move three times,” she said.
Angela Stetar Cox of Greensboro, N.C., had a similar experience. “We
were visiting this church for the first time. We were asked to move
because we were in someone else’s seat. (We) never went back.”
Rob Turk has “accidentally sat in someone’s ‘spot.’” But the results can be positive, he said.
“It usually can be a conversation starter and a chance to meet a new
friend — or you can get your dander up in a wad and miss out on a
chance. But if a church is about being welcoming and that it’s an honor
to have a guest in one’s special ‘spot,’ the miracles can really
happen.”
‘Jesus has space for everyone!’
Several respondents seemed surprised such incidents occur.
“I have … never had anything like this happen,” declared Linda
Wiseheart Lofton, who describes herself as “an aging member” of
Broadway United Methodist Church, Paducah, Ky.
Steve Novy goes to another friendly church — Aldersgate, Wheaton, Ill. — where “we’ve saved some seats for you and yours.”
“That is so funny,” added Karen Allanach of Wesley Chapel United
Methodist Church in Urbana, Md. “Jesus has space for everyone!”
*Dunlap-Berg is internal content editor for United Methodist Communications, Nashville, Tenn.
News media contact: Barbara Dunlap-Berg, Nashville, Tenn., (615) 742-5470 or newsdesk@umcom.org.
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