Personal pain, mixed with hope, shapes leader’s faith

A UMNS photo by John C. Goodwin Jan Love, deputy general secretary for the Women's Division of The United Methodist Board of Global Ministries

By Linda Bloom*

STAMFORD, Conn. (UMNS)—For Jan Love—the daughter of a United Methodist pastor and a leader both in the denomination and the ecumenical world—a sense of mission has been a guiding principle of life.

But her faith journey, which last year led to a position as chief executive of the Women’s Division of the United Methodist Board of Global Ministries, also reflects the effects of personal suffering.

As she told her story to division directors during their April 8-11 spring meeting, Love spoke publicly of her 1979 abduction and rape and its impact upon her life and faith.

Part of the impact has been reflected in her longtime mission to address issues of violence against women, both through the church and at university settings where she worked as a professor.

"Since the rape, I have meditated frequently on what it means to love my enemies, to do good to those who have hurt me," she told the directors. "I often ponder the full meaning of forgiveness and what consequences it has for my life and that of my attackers."

But, ultimately, she said, she considers her story to be "a resurrection story, an experience full of hope, endurance, determination, renewed strength and complete confidence and joy that, for Christians, the crucifixion is never the end of the story."

The rape occurred when Love was attending a January 1979 meeting of the World Council of Churches’ Central Committee in Kingston, Jamaica. She and two others—a young woman and young man—were abducted by two men armed with semi-automatic weapons.

They were led deep into the woods, where the men took their valuables "and asked us about ourselves as they smoked marijuana." One of the men took Love away and raped her and then did the same with the other woman, whom Love called Marjorie.

"All three of us believed for most of our time in the woods that we would die that night," she told the Women’s Division directors in a steady voice. "We were grateful that we had our lives, but for Marjorie and me, especially, our lives had been turned upside down."

Other women helped them with recovery. Theressa Hoover, who was then chief executive of the Women’s Division, and Dame Nita Barrow, a WCC leader from Barbados, assisted in the aftermath of the rape and arranged for them to return home. Her mother and sisters surrounded her with support and care once she was back in Alabama.

"Another group pivotal to my regaining strength and confidence was a feminist organization at Ohio State University, where I was in graduate school," Love said. "The group taught courses on risk assessment, self-defense and the realities of violence against women. They helped me believe I could navigate the world again."

Love grew up in a family that lived out its convictions, whatever the cost. This was impressed upon her as a 5-year-old when, on March 10, 1958, the Ku Klux Klan burned a cross in front of the Satsuma, Ala., parsonage where her family lived, as part of a coordinated attack.

Her father, along with 16 other white Methodist pastors and those of other denominations, had publicly supported a campaign by African-American pastors to end bus segregation in Mobile, Ala.

Although local church leaders had encouraged their action, the Methodist bishop was opposed to such involvement. "In every case, the local churches withdrew salary support from the pastors and requested their transfer, which happened at the next meeting of the annual conference," Love said.

Her family stayed in Alabama and continued witnessing for racial justice, "but we moved frequently from parish to parish, branded as difficult by the hierarchy and as misfits in our local communities."

Despite such isolation, the family felt "upheld" by those who understood the connection between racial justice and the Gospel, she said. "We knew all too well that many suffered far more harm than we did, some losing their homes, their health or their lives," Love recalled. "For me, being able to count myself as one of their number constituted a high honor."

In 1975, she was elected, along with Hoover, to represent the United Methodist Church on the 158-member Central Committee of the World Council of Churches. It was to that committee—during a 1994 meeting in Johannesburg, South Africa—that she first publicly spoke about her experience in Jamaica.

While the Johannesburg meeting was both an acknowledgement of the WCC’s strong advocacy against apartheid and a celebration of the new-found freedom there, rape was being used as a weapon of war in countries such as Rwanda and the former Yugoslavia.

"I used the occasion of my sermon to say to church leaders across the world, in a state of very deep denial about violence against women, that rape has a remarkably familiar face: that of our mothers, our sisters, our daughters—even me," Love said.

Another crucial part of Love’s faith journey occurred from 1998 to 2003, when her daughter, Rachel, suffered a series of debilitating illnesses from age 10 to 15. Rachel endured six surgeries, including two brain procedures, and for months could only lie on her back because the pain was so severe.

It is a problem, Love said, that other parents—unlike herself and her husband, Peter—do not have access "to resources such as the best doctors in the country" for their suffering children. She also learned "the meaning of failure, repeated failure, in one of the most important jobs entrusted to me, that of helping to heal my own child."

Again, the importance of supportive faith communities, friends, family and others became evident to Love. After prayers to and arguments with God, she was "reminded of a basic truth I already knew: God was in the middle of Rachel’s suffering and ever present for us all."

Her daughter is healthy now, but Love pointed out that suffering is sometimes unavoidable.

"One of the most important points of being in community, and in Christian community in particular, is to help each other through such pain and problems that come our way," she said. "Christ calls us to bear each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). When we bear them together, they become much lighter."

*Bloom is a United Methodist News Service news writer based in New York.

News media contact: Linda Bloom, New York, (646) 369-3759 or newsdesk@umcom.org.

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