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Editor’s note: The volunteers interviewed for this story asked that their churches not be identified.

A UMC.org Feature
By Susan Passi-Klaus*

May 10, 2010 | NASHVILLE (UMNS)

Kimberly Goods gave until it hurt to give any more.

As chairperson of her church’s communication and information committee, she was in charge of public relations, the website and the newsletter. Each was a time-consuming duty that required frequent presence at the church. She spent an additional 20 hours a week working on church business at home.

She committed to do the job for three years, but her duties kept mushrooming. Before she knew it, it was four years, then five. One position led to another. People asked her to serve on the staff parish relations committee and the congregational care committee, to greet on Sunday mornings, and to squeeze in attending Sunday school.

Rev. Jeffrey Harlow, Brosville United Methodist Church, Danville, Va., says pastors and church staffs must make sure volunteers are not taken for granted. Photo courtesy of Brosville UMC.

“I tried to back off a couple of times,” she said, “but I was 'guilted' into continuing for ‘just a little while longer’ or ‘just one more time.’ I fell for it for a while, but I could feel myself not putting my all into it anymore.”

Goods’ story is not unusual. Too often, church volunteers burn out while in the trenches of servanthood.

In churches where there is always a ministry to tend, a committee to lead, a class to teach or an event to chair, it is hard to find people willing to step up to the plate. When you find them, it is even harder on the church to lose them, especially if they are doing a good job.

“Brent,” who asked that he not be identified, has been a member of his church for more than 10 years. He has spent seven of those helping with the youth, ushering every Sunday, serving on the worship and finance committees, and pitching in with special programs and activities. Eventually, his church time took a toll on his work and family time.

“I looked up, and my work and family life had begun to suffer. I knew I had to let something go,” he said. Brent prayed long and hard about cutting back on his church obligations, especially working with youth.

“It was hard,” he said. “They had shared a lot with me on their mission trips and at other activities through the church.”

‘A two-person responsibility’

At the end of your “giving” rope? Author offers help for those suffering from “Mad Church Disease.”

As a pastor’s daughter and a former church staff person, author Anne Jackson has experienced the good, the bad and the ugly of the church. Her book, “Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic,” is for everyone – Sunday school teachers to greeters at the door – who suffers from leadership exhaustion.

What are signs that you are at the end of your “giving” rope?

If God feels distant, your purposed is going unfulfilled, and you cannot remember the last time you felt joy when you served, you may be becoming spiritually exhausted.

What kinds of things wear people out when they are overcommitted at church?

Anytime we become focused on what we can do “for God” instead of what God can do out of an overflow in us, we will wear down and out. We cannot be dependent on ourselves and dependent on God at the same time. The specific tasks don’t matter; it’s the heart out of which they are done.

What steps can volunteers take so their service doesn’t become stress?

Feel free to say “no”, “not yet” or “maybe someone else.” In Luke 4, Jesus had just finished a busy season of ministry and he knew he needed to rest, alone, with God. The people followed, pleading with him to continue healing. He had legitimate needs staring him in the face, and he said, “No.” God did not send him to heal one town, but the entire world. If Jesus can say “No,” surely we can follow his example.

Why is it so important to work on your relationship with God when you’re volunteering for the church?

It’s the ONLY thing that is important. So many times throughout Scripture we read about people who “did” everything right. They fasted, prayed, served, built temples and gave money, but God rejected their worship because they were not seeking God’s heart. John 15:5 tells us that apart from our connection to Christ, we can do nothing.

What do you do if you’re trying to establish boundaries and pull back, but no one steps up to the plate to take over?

Sometimes you have to let the chips fall where they may. If you are being obedient by stepping back, you are not responsible for someone else’s obedience (or lack of) for not helping in your absence. Your absence may actually show your church or ministry how to prioritize or rely on God.

What is something you should NOT do if you find your passion for service is waning?

Speak up. Share your concerns with someone. Ask for advice from many people. Do not let it sit quietly within you because eventually it will destroy you.

Jeff Harlow, a leadership development and volunteer management expert who pastors Brosville United Methodist Church in Danville, Va., understands both sides of the burnout issue. He is not only a pastor used to delegating; he is also a spiritual counselor who has done his fair share of listening to members of his congregation who are overwhelmed with church responsibilities.

“Managing burnout is a two-person responsibility,” Harlow said. “The volunteer needs to do some self-examination to determine if their burnout is based on their own problems, or because of someone (else’s) problem. According to Harlow, burnout frequently occurs when a person feels guilty for not doing enough. Volunteers need to ask themselves if they are really dropping the ball, or if they are just the type of person who tends to feel guilty even when they are doing a great job.

“Guilt is a big deal,” Harlow said. “Pastors should pay attention to a person’s sense of guilt and try to help the volunteer put their feelings in perspective.

“The pastor can reassure volunteers that no one is going to lose their salvation if they don’t measure up on the worship committee or if they the fail to show up for a weekend workday,” he said. “Even if the guilt is valid, the pastor can play a role in helping people understand how important a duty or task really is.”

Setting realistic expectations

In addition to guilt, Harlow said resentment also is linked to burnout. Resentment, Harlow warned, occurs when a pastor, church or program leaders are unrealistic about their expectations and unclear about assignment of tasks when recruiting a volunteer.

“Volunteers give us a ton of time. They deserve to be told what we expect of them, and for how long. When we are not clear about our expectations, a volunteer is ripe for resentment.”

Is there a solution?

If pastors do a better job of communicating the message of mission-mindedness, they’ll be more successful at managing leaders and volunteers in their congregation.

“Churches get themselves into a burnout mess when we forget that everything we do needs to contribute to the mission of the church,” Harlow explained. “What we have to convey to the volunteers is that they are helping us make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world, whether they are painting or weed-eating.

“A pastor should be the head cheerleader, the loudest and most persistent voice reminding every volunteer, for every task, that “what you are doing matters,” he said.

“We can prevent burnout in our churches. We should because volunteers are our most important resource. We can help volunteers manage their guilt, and we can prevent resentment by being clearer about our expectations. Most of all, we must remind our hardworking, overworked volunteers that what they do matters. What they do helps us accomplish our mission.”

*Passi-Klaus is a writer with the Public Information Team, United Methodist Communications, Nashville, Tenn.

Contact: Susan Passi-Klaus, Nashville, Tenn., (615) 742-5138 or presscenter@umcom.org.